Toward the end of my time in England, I started to feel very numb. It wasn’t until the time for my departure was drawing closer that I began to feel alive again. I wanted fear, I wanted something that would take me out my comfort zone and invigorate me with that feeling you can only get when headed into the unknown. I consider myself to be quite fearless in most areas of life… but one thing that scared me about this trip was the idea of getting food poisoning whilst alone… and last night, that nightmare manifested into the reality I was experiencing.

The fear was born because I have had severe food poisoning twice before, once in England where I was taken to the doctor who injected me with some sort of magical solution to stop the vomitting. The second time I was away in Chile, and it was much worse. It went on ALL day before a kind Canadian man named Al Frewin (Will never forget his name) staying in our hostel intervened and suggested I go to the hospital. There in Chile they gave me what I assume is the same stuff, the miracle potion, but administered this time via IV Drip. The constant nausea, excessive vomiting and all other projections of bodily fluids stopped straight after. It was an intense experience, with over 24 hours of recovery, and it left me feeling not at all right the following days.

These 2 experiences have struck a fear in my heart of repeating the same experience, especially as this time, I am alone, without the comfort of a loved one or a familiar face to just say ‘It’s going to be okay’, with I was blessed with both times previous. Honestly, this was my worst nightmare associated with this trip… Hence it’s manifestation.

So when I woke up at 4:30 am feeling very odd, I was firstly in denial that anything was wrong. Then come 5:00-ish, I found myself suddenly scrambling out of my top bunk in the darkness to run to the toilet. At first, I was throwing up every 20-30 mins. By 8am, it was every 5 minutes, regardless of whether I had drunk water or not. If I had water, it was easy, but at about 7:30 I ran out which made the bouts of sickness much harder work.

Thankfully, due to my past 2 experiences, I knew exactly what to do. I had my hostel call the hospital and promptly after I got a taxi straight there. I was given the exact same treatment that I received in Chile. 2 hours and around £550 in hospital bills later I was cured, though left feeling frail, fragile and fatigued.

We have the power to make our most ambitious dreams and our worst nightmares into reality. Through subconsciously focusing on the fear of this happening, I made it a reality.

But I needed it. I needed to prove to myself that I can handle anything by myself. Though the friendly smile of a loved one nearby eases the pain, I think before leaving I believed that without that, I wouldn’t get by, and if it happened, I would be in a terrible place with no one to rescue me.

But, there are always those around to help. Without anyone here with me, I at least do not feel like I ruined someone else’s day too. I also have a new found sense of ‘I can handle anything alone’.

Also, now my one and only worst nightmare has been experienced, I believe that it will not be necessary to go through anything like that again for the rest of the trip.

So… back to manifesting the dreams and casting the fear of my nightmares aside, for what you focus on, you become…

Where focus goes, energy flows - and so, may I only focus on the abundance of beautiful experiences still to be gifted to me as I continue along my travels.

I thank the Universe for being with me in all forms to help me through this, from the hostel staff, to the taxi driver, to all the medical staff at the hospital and every other individual that is somehow indirectly linked to my recovery. Without them, I’d have truly been screwed.

Onwards and Upwards,

Always.

❤️

^^ This is the artwork next to my bed in my current hostel… the theme seemed eerily appropriate this morning! Thank god I am on the road to recovery now.