Lessons from the greatest Teacher - Part 1

Published by HART FLOE POET,

My intentions for the ceremonies had changed between arriving in Minca and sitting the ceremonies. My intention for the first night had become something I’d been interested in experiencing and had heard several times of others having such an experience - and that was to meet and to know my ‘Spirit Animal’. But also my intention was to ‘Breakthrough’ and go beyond on a ‘journey’ to meet my higher self and for a short time experience the true power and beauty of this ancient medicine and powerful teacher. After many past experiences with DMT, one of the main psychoactive elements that is a component of the Shamanic brew (and also a compound that is found naturally in many living things including Humans), I’ve never managed to have the ‘breakthrough’ experience - Something I have felt that I was ready to experience for some time now. After my time at Aloha so far, now I REALLY felt like I was ready and was so thankful for the opportunity to have this experience for the first time in such a ridiculously beautiful setting.

On the day of the ceremony, I was invited to sit down with 2 of the 3 shamans that were going to be conducting the ceremony for us. The intention was to give us some time to connect, a space to ask any questions that we might have, and to discuss what our intentions were for working with this scared and powerful medicine. It also gave them a chance to ask a few questions about me so that they could better understand who I was and where I was coming from.

It was an awesome chat that really affirmed for me that these guys were perfectly in tune and able to take care of us throughout the entire process. It helped me to get clear on my intentions by vocalizing them and sharing the intentions with the brothers. I felt so blessed to know that we would be lead by such caring, loving, wise and understanding souls. I felt totally at ease.

During my interview I was asked if I’d had previous experience with the medicine. I had, and I shared my experience. The first time I did it I didn’t really get any of the typical effects at all - and there’s many possible reasons for this. But it was important that I shared this with them. Although it didn’t have the effect I’d expected the first time round, I’d quickly recognized that having any kind of expectations was my first mistake. It was also a lesson in Patience and a chance to witness my own impatience in action again, something that I am working hard to eliminate from my behaviors. It was a lesson in acceptance, trust and faith, and in finding peace in each moment, even when you find yourself surrounded by chaos that so easily keeps us from that place where we are calm and centered. I was happy to be reminded of what I’d learnt during my first experience, and glad that they knew where I was coming from too.

After my chat earlier in the day - I felt certain that tonight would be the night. I got super excited and wrote the first blog post. Then I got ready for the fast approaching ceremony that would begin at 7pm.

Come 7pm we all gathered on the mountain top in a flat open space that is commonly used for yoga and meditation. 30 mats lay spaced out on the floor in a rectangular shape with one open side. Michael, Sam and I choose 3 consecutive mats that felt right for us and all do one last check to ensure we have all the little comfort items we want with us - which included each other. In the centre was a fire that the 3 brothers had built. Before long we were being guided through a short 10 minute meditation to get everybody grounded, connected and feeling peaceful.

After an introduction to the ceremony, we formed a queue to go up and receive our first cup of medicine one by one. After each receiving a cup, we were all free to find a comfortable space and wait in deep silence for the brew to begin taking effect.

I didn’t want to lay down, as it’s very easy to fall asleep when all is dark and quiet. So for a while I stood, and my vision was mainly pulled toward the moon, shining brightly in an open night sky, bathing in the countless stars that surround it - It’s warming glow adding an aliveness to the dark of the night and serving to keep us all more connected physically through our vision.

But not long after drinking the first cup, one of the shamans came to find me and asked how I was feeling, and if I wanted to drink again. I believe that after telling them of my first experience they were eager to give me the opportunity to drink again if I was not feeling much, so that I may try to get the experience I had expected the first time. He was tuned in…. He knew what I wanted.

So of course, I gratefully obliged.

I went to the altar as one of the brothers chanted and sung to my cup as he prepared it, he then handed me the second cup, only half as full as the first. I gave thanks, told her I was ready to go, and knocked the uncomfortably bitter concoction back.

I returned to moon gazing, still standing, and within minutes began to yawn huge, face-stretching yawns several times a minute.

“Definitely not a good idea to lay down then - You’re sure to fall asleep!" - I thought to myself.

But soon after, when the yawning didn’t show any times of stopping, I had a change in my thoughts -

“Maybe she’s trying to tell you TO lie down"

As soon as the idea popped into my mind I knew I was right. So I went to my mat to lie and instantly the yawning ceased.

Now I could enjoy staring deeply into the moon without ending up with a neck-ache…

Perfect.

Within 10 minutes, as the second cup was working it’s way through me, some strange things began to happen with my vision.

As my gaze was locked on the moon, the whole sky began to intermittently do this ‘flickering’ effect. It was almost like when an old film roll is coming to it’s end and the picture begins to flicker as the reel starts to slow down, before the image is finally ripped from the screen. It felt like everything was about to disappear at any moment, but I somehow knew it wouldn’t.

The moon would began shaking with great speed for just a second or two, the entire sky and all of my vision flickering, on the brink of disappearing like that film reel… and then it would jolt back to a solid image again. This continued to happen a few times a minute for around 10 minutes. I knew the medicine was talking to me, and I felt I knew what she was asking me -

“You’re close now. If you want us to go together we can go. If you really do want to ‘breakthrough’ you can now…

But you have to choose it.

Are you sure you’re ready? I’m not going to take you away against your will. If you want to come now, then show me - Ask for one more drink and I’ll take you to where you keep saying you want to go. The experience you’ve been seeking with me… Now is your chance"

This wasn’t a voice in my head. But yet I felt a clear communication and this was my interpretation of what she was saying to me.

I considered it as I continued to lay there and enjoy this unique visual display. Minutes later one of the 3 brothers walked by and crouched down - his joyful rainbow-grin and psychedelic eyes the only features I were able to distinguish on his face in the darkness.

‘How’s the second cup brother?’

‘Absolutely beautiful 😀. I’m enjoying it very much.. Thank you’…

We both laughed.
And with that, he left.

But I knew she had sent him to me in that moment. Not only had she told me what I needed to do to prove to us both that I was ready to go exploring, but she’d sent him over to me to offer me the opportunity to take her up on it and ask for more medicine so that I could go deeper. She made it so I didn’t even have to get up. As easy as it could get.

But I didn’t.

I let him walk off and the moment of opportunity passed by.

I looked back at the moon. Visually it was still an epic and stunning display, but the flickering, the little teasing tickle of what might be expected when blasting off to another place ceased to occur. I knew I wasn’t going to go any deeper now, but I was still very thankful to be where I’d gotten to, and continued to enjoy the bliss of the moments that followed.

Not too long after, we’d reached the point in the ceremony where we were treated to live music, performed by the 3 brothers, and some of the other people at the retreat who were also musicians, such as Greg the legend from Purpose Spark, and An amazing gentlemen named Maurice from Ireland who had one of the most unique voices I’ve ever heard, Truly mesmerising! This was a time to come together, to dance, to sing, to laugh, and have our souls and energy lifted by each other and the beautiful music that was performed for us.

Magic seems like such a feeble word to describe what you’ll experience at a retreat like this. The level of connection between you and all the people around you - close and dearly loved members of your family that had been strangers only days before. The kind of joy that shakes your whole body with laughter and aches your face because of the intensity and duration of your naturally occurring smile. The impressive and fascinating dance of the fire illuminating the other beaming smiles around you. The individual sounds of every song and lyrics pierce straight into the heart and inject it with a flow of such a blissful feeling that you HAVE to ponder the question -

“How did we get so lucky?"

To be alive, breathing, experiencing this life, rich with an abundance of unique opportunities available for us to explore.

Standing atop a mountain under moonlight,
dancing with loved ones deep into the night,
with every single sensation causing complete delight,
sparking the fire in your heart to re-ignite,
and the wings of your soul to take flight…

I was suspended in complete awe of the magnificence of everything.

The intense gratitude that came next followed naturally.

After the music came to an end, the opportunity to drink another cup was offered for anyone that wished to. I joined the queue and although I knew I wouldn’t go any deeper, I looked forward to just laying flat on the Earth and returning to my connection with the moon.

The next few hours I spent just enjoying the visual displays in the sky. Stars danced across a blanket of infinitely intricate patterns of colors and geometry, whilst the moon reached out to me with a direct beam of light that had appeared, creating a moonlight bridge that connected directly into my heart. I noticed if I raised my eyebrows, it retracted back, and if I frowned in came toward me and connected deeper - which was fun to play with 😃

Then a second moon split itself from the moon and they began to dance together, rejoining again into a single moon every 20 seconds or so. It was beautiful to watch, and for me this dance represented the dance of soul mates on a micro level and the dance of all souls on a macro level. As soul mates, our paths can never be one forever. There are times where we have to part and our paths must split… but they’ll always come back together.

All souls originate from one whole, and at times choose to separate from that whole (to be born) so that they may go and enjoying dancing with it for a while. But eventually, they re-join again (die) once they have achieved what they wanted to out of each dance.

This separation and unison of the 2 moons perfectly displayed the eternal dance of life. How everything always returns to the whole that it came from, and how beautiful the dance is (life) in between each souls separation and reunion.

At around 3am in the morning, one of the brothers broke the deep silence to inform us that the ceremony had come to an end and we were welcome to go back to our cabañas to sleep if we wish. By this point I was ready for sleep and looked forward to getting cosy and comfortable, still feeling the warm embrace of the plant spirit we’d all connected with that night.

I drifted off with ease.

We woke to yet another divinely delicious breakfast in the morning, and naturally the main topic of conversation was the experiences we’d all had the night before. Two other guys I was sat near at breakfast shared a very similar experience to me - almost identical in terms of being offered to go further but turning it down. But they both finished off their story with what it really meant to them - something I’d filed to recognise -

That they both had a fear of letting go…

Of losing control.

In that moment I realised that I had the same fear.

This is why I had never ‘broken through’ before. For sometime I have consciously felt that I am ready, but during this breakfast chit-chat I realised that subconsciously I was holding on to a fear of letting go of this reality and being shown a different one entirely.

I was scared of letting someone else take the driving seat.

And it was this fear that prevented me from taking her offer up when she presented it to me.

But hey… what a realization. I’d recognized a fear that I wasn’t aware of, giving me the ability to remove it.

This changed my whole thought process throughout the day as we rested in reflection, in preparation for the second and last ceremony.

I knew also that it came back to patience. It was another gift, another opportunity to practice patience, and to not choose frustration because I still hadn’t gone to where I was saying I wanted to go.

But you know how the saying goes -

Actions speak louder than words.

I could tell the whole world all day how I’m ready, willing and able to do something.

But when the time comes, if I don’t actually take action, then it’s not going to happen, and my words become empty.

But I am patient. I passed up this opportunity but there’ll be many, many more to come.

Every step may be small, and the road ahead long, but each leads me closer to my destiny, making every one just as essential in the completion of the journey I’ve chosen to embark on.

With each step I become enhanced, even when circumstances may arise that make it difficult to keep moving forward, I know it is I that placed them there so that I may experience what I need to in order to grow into the grandest version of myself that I have dreamt up before coming here.

I was looking forward to the second ceremony and what was waiting for me there. But it also deserves it’s own post.

All I will say to close this one is -

Work to unearth the fears you have that you have not yet become aware of, because whilst they lay undiscovered, they will forever block you from experiencing your fullest potential, they will block you from doing the things you say you want most, yet continually sabotage your own efforts to get them.

=====

Our fear is our only true prison,

And this prison is the only one of it’s kind -

where the prisoner contained is free to walk out the door at any time.

They’ve just forgotten that they have that choice.

So just walk straight out the doors of your fears with boldness and bravery.

And once you’re out, remind others that you see trapped in their own self-made prisons of fear that...

The door that they thought had been tightly sealed all this time…

had never been locked to begin with.


❤️ Always
In All Ways



^^ Before the second ceremony Michael and I walked to Los Pinos - The highest lookout point which was about a 25 minute walk from Aloha. There we meditated and sat in peace, watching the sun slowly descend before setting into the distant sea as we anticipated the magic that would occur once again that night.