The day after I met some new friends in my camp. We bonded quickly. Alejandro, Lennard and Stephanie. They become my little camp crew. But at night time I found myself going back to town. Although I loved the tranquility of the beach, I felt called to be amongst the energy of the nightlife in Tulum. There’s two amazing bars opposite each other that both have live bands and play great music in between. I arranged to meet a friend, Lee, that I had met for just a few minutes whilst dancing the week prior in the Blue Parrot, the club where the shooting in Playa and since taken place.

Amongst a crowd of alcohol fueled party goers who operate on a different wavelength, I found myself standing next to this guy. He taps me on the shoulder and says something along the lines of -

‘You look like you’re into this as much as I am’

In the 2 or 3 minute conversation that followed, it became abundantly clear to us both that we had been attracted to stand near one another, as we were both very much on the same frequency.

We connect on Facebook, and after a failed attempt to meet in Playa days later, we meet for coffee in Tulum (This place seriously does the most amazing cuban coffee! It’s next level!).

Anyway, the conversation is awesome. We exchange many gifts. We are both on the same mission - to unite and enlighten all those that we meet in some way, be it subtle or profound, and to make a network of like-minded individuals, a tribe, to connect the dots, and bring people together that may otherwise have not been connected.

We get talking about many things, and at one point he reminds me of something very important.

To be myself.

The subject matter was that of being single, and speaking with women. As many of you know I spent my entire adult life in a long-term relationship, and now that’s over, I realise I had been trying to be something I’m not since being here. He reminds me the importance of being myself, genuine, authentic, loving, giving. Since being out here, I had been too focused on ‘pulling’, when in truth, if I were to just be myself, that part wouldn’t be necessary... it would happen naturally.

Just hours after we parted ways, the theory proved to be true.

So I just want to say Lee is an absolute legend. Very inspiring chap and very eager to connect and learn from everyone he meets, as well as sharing the gifts he has. Thankfully, this wasn’t the last time we would meet in Tulum.

So after we part, I’m left alone. I go to the first bar to chill and watch the live band there. They were awesome. When that ends, I cross the road to Batey, the bar opposite that has a new band in every night of the week.

As I walk in, I notice two ladies sitting, thoroughly enjoying the music. I feel some sort of magnetism between myself and one of them. I hang for some time until the band are over. Then I sit to talk with her, a beautiful woman from Denmark who’s name I shall refrain from mentioning. We sat and talked for a good 45 minutes or so, whilst another English guy is chatting up and trying to ‘pull’ her friend, his main tactic being to attack her face with his hands and lips… He serves as reminder to me of how NOT to act.

We laugh at the situation and I think she feels relieved that I’m not trying the same tactics with her.

We leave the bar and stand on the street. The other dude still bravely and boldly clamping his lips to her friends.

At the end of the conversation, she says she’s going to rescue her friend and take her home…

and she asks me for a goodnight kiss.

I’m elated, not only because the kiss was above top notch, exactly to my liking, but because Lee had reminded me of something so crucial, that had we not met that evening, I may not have remembered for some time, and this kiss would never have happened.

After that, we part ways, and I don’t see her again... but we met for a reason.

She proved to me that I don’t have to try any special tactics, or learn anything new, or be something that I’m not in order to attract intimate connections with women. In fact, this behavior would only ever serve to push these opportunities further out of my grasp. However, after becoming single for the first time in my adult life, I’d convinced myself I had to learn how to ‘play the game’.

No.

No games to play.

Honesty. Truth. Freedom. Authenticity. Unconditional Love.

This is what I offer.

To all of humanity.

This is the gift I want to give and I want to give it well. I’d removed my focus on that by concentrating on trying to ‘pull’, and as a result I was no longer living true to myself and who I really am.

There really is no need to try. Just be yourself and the right ones will be attracted to you like metal to magnets. Some of them may turn into intimate connections, others just highly valued and treasured new friendships. Either way, you are growing and evolving socially and intellectually in every new connection you make.